One symptom of brain/body fatigue is the unleashing of inner demons. Last night when I was too pooped to produce I succumbed to the critical voices in my head, one of which scolds me when I'm not doing stuff. I suspect that inner voice lays dormant when I'm busy (either because I'm producing and thus rendering him/her/it unnecessary, or because the joy of productivity unleashes brain chemicals that neutralize him/her/it).
Either way, in hindsight I attribute my inactivity last night to simple fatigue. It's biochemistry and physics that prevent one from going 24/7. It's distorted cognitions that chastise, criticize, condemn, and berate such a condition calling it slothful and lazy.
This morning I'm refreshed and eager to tackle new and exciting endeavors. Where'd the inner critic go? I think a good night's sleep replenished my psychic energy and those shaming voices have been silenced. Or to change metaphors, during the dark night of the soul my inner critics shine brightly like stars but when my batteries get recharged the sun comes out and makes those stars invisible. (I hope someday to win a Pulitzer for mixed metaphors). The stars (critical voices) are still there but sunshine (psychic recharging) renders them invisible (silent).
After weeding the front yard I watched TV reruns, drank peppermint schnapps and hot cocoa, slept like a baby, and awoke with yesterday's ennui a distant memory.
What lesson can I draw from this? When inevitable tiredness creeps up on me I will be mindful that in that weakened state I'm not only in need of downtime but I'm also vulnerable to a nasty sub-personality who would drive me to death and flog a dead horse. (Here comes that Pulitzer). When I'm exhausted that sub-personality is powerless to scold a tired body/brain into creativity. And since it can't whip my body into action it yells at me from the sidelines like a demented cheerleader, "Two, four, six, eight, who do we excoriate?"
Off to have a great day!
No comments:
Post a Comment