Milestone Reached

Just completed the new Draft Five. What previously had been 35 pages has grown to 53 pages (106 half pages in Publisher). I've added two narrators (space aliens) who eavesdrop on the class and comment not unlike these quipping pop culture icons:

Mystery Science Theater 3000

Muppets Two Old Men

Furthermore, I've isolated 22 main characters and have given them names, ages, majors, motivations, and philosophical orientations. It's like I'm playing chess while simultaneously inventing the pieces and the moves they make. I've created these 22 characters and turned them loose to listen to Dr. Q jabber on and on about life's futility.

So now, at long last, I begin the delicious task of making model sheets. I'm fighting the temptation to buy my Bamboo Tablet yet. I'll tackle this next stage of the journey with old fashioned paper and pencil. 

I Dreamed of a Narrator for Ecclesiastes University

Once I hit the pause button to rethink the structure of this book my conscious mind went numb, "How do I integrate the helpful comments from my first readers without starting from scratch?" Thankfully, my subconscious mind did not quit working. 

I dreamed I invented a narrator, a new main character, who spoke in the first person to a therapist about his depression. He showed the therapist his “notes” which were the comic strip pages already drawn. I drew the narrator's thumb on the right side of the pages holding the comic book for his therapist to read. I also inserted snap shot drawings of the students like when someone takes a photo in a movie and the picture freezes and turns momentarily to black and white. I was freed from strict linearity and could time travel with ease. It was quite liberating, actually.

This dream was also disconcerting because I was trying to do math in my sleep…how can I add pages/panels with as little re-editing as possible? Each day lecture needs an even number of pages, and I CAN’T disassemble each Publisher Page and relocate the existing word balloons. 

Random Thoughts about Narration

Currently, there is no narrator. Readers listen in on the images/dialog that some unnamed person (the cartoonist) provides. An invisible entity chooses camera angles, what to leave out between panels, who says what, etc. I think this is what tires readers. They are borne along with little time to breathe during the journey. A narrator would (if my dream was correct) assist readers in plot.

A narrator talking to a therapist is too 1960s and Woody Allen-ish.

Who was the narrator is Metamorphosis? "As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect-like creature."

Are narrators omniscient? They must be in order to convey the plot to the audience. Wiki says, 

"The narrator may be a fictive person devised by the author as a stand-alone entity, or may even be a character. The narrator is considered participant if an actual character in the story, and nonparticipant if only an implied character, or a sort of omniscient or semi-omniscient being who does not take part in the story but only relates it to the audience."

I need a narrator who is not enveloped by Dr. Q's philosophical musings. 

Some narrator options

• a demon “taking photos” of each character rooting for skepticism, doubt, atheism, and/or nihilism to take over. 
• an angel “taking photos” rooting for faith/hope/love to take over.
• a hapless student (not me) musing about depression
• a hapless student (me) musing about depression
• God
• Fly on the wall
• Alien
• Solomon

The narrator could “reflect” at the end of each day’s lecture/riffs. If the joke was stupid he could say so. His “stance” would be objective. Unlike the students who whine about Dr. Q’s repetition and gloominess, the objective narrator could respond logically and clearly, without emotion.

Narrators narrate, but to whom is my narrator speaking? Readers, of course, but are the panels then supportive documentation for his monologue? If so, fine. But how then do I segue into the classroom pages? In other words, what is the narrator saying that would lead him to “show” students talking? 

I'm wary of adopting a Screwtape plot; Lewis gets the credit for that bit of brilliance. Plus, I don’t want to bludgeon readers with supernatural-ism, demonic or otherwise.  

Do omniscient narrators ever show emotion?

Voice-over while images zoom in from outer space into classroom (thanks, Google maps).

Given the fact that 428 Publisher pages have been set up with thousands of dialog boxes tediously put in place and filled with correct font and text, I can’t have the narrator insert his (her, its) voice into an individual page. He/she/it can only speak before and after each day. 

But this poses another huge problem….what possibly can the narrator say that would fill up an entire page? 

I could invent a new student whom the narrator watches outside of class and makes comments about….or the narrator could observe and make comments about all the students. Perhaps the narrator could comment on several of the characters between classes. I can almost visualize a second “plot” outside of the classroom.

Does the narrator have access to the character’s mind? I the cartoonist have access to the classroom lecture complete with sound and visuals. I’m enabling viewers to eavesdrop on a classroom. I do not have access into the psyche of any student (other than any conclusions we draw from attire, vocabulary, reactions, etc). Perhaps an omniscient narrator would know what students are thinking.

Does the narrator observe Dr. Q between classes? That would be fun speculation but I’m afraid I'd contaminate the pure text of Eccl with fiction.  My main characters are the students who listen and react to Dr. Q’s lecture.

A narrator could make the narrative flow more explicit. He/she/it could turn those talking heads into real persons with whom the audience could (hopefully) relate. The narrator would "model" for readers curiosity, interest, tedium, astonishment, empathy, etc.

The narrator could show the pictures and biography of each student like Base Ball Cards.

Narrator in the tone of Rod Serling: “Observe one Karenoia, plagued by OCD, and anxiety- reducing rituals. She thought her life was manageable ... until she entered Ecclesiastes University [the Twilight Zone].” 

The narrator could end each of his/her/its comments with, “Day one.” But 50 times? Yikes. Perhaps I could reduce the number of days/lectures by combining them (stretching same color over many pages).     

ALIEN DIALOG

Setting: inside space ship

Characters: two aliens, father and son

Plot: son taking dad on outing for bonding (dad agreed to let son chose the activity)

What planet are they from?

How old are they?

How’d the son know so much about earth?

How could this ever be turned into a stage play? 

Status Update

Thirty-five pages of rough draft number five have been posted on the other site for first readers to scan and comment upon. The feedback has been so helpful I've hit the pause button to rethink the whole premise of this graphic novel. 2000+ talking heads are just too boring. So what are my options?

Make the claim that the boredom is an intentional literary device to further illustrate the message of vanity, absurdity, and pointlessness. This is a bit disingenuous, like the guy who shoots his bow wildly and then draws targets around randomly shot arrows.

Scrap the whole thing and write a stage play or screen play. No more graphic novel? Ouch.

Scrap Ecclesiastes and go mow my lawn. And give up philosophical ruminations? Double ouch.

Reformat the whole thing:

• give students only 2 panels (delete the second row of 1-3 boxes) to riff on Dr. Q. This would essentially cut the book--and boredom--in half. Less is more, but that much less?
• enlarge the size of my printed hard copy thus giving me a larger drawing space in which to draw settings, props, action, etc. This would essentially render my existing 428 pages null and void...after all that work!
• put new words into Dr. Q's mouth; fictionalize him. This would make the finished product "based upon the book of Ecclesiastes" rather than "taking every word of the ancient text as is and seeing it crash against modern thinking."
• keep the format but reduce the number of characters. Theoretically I could cut the number of students in half, combining various traits into one. This would cut down the confusion of who's who but increase confusion about student motives. Currently each student represents one philosophical/emotional point of view. Blending them would make each character complex and self contradictory. Plus, I might get bored with the few students that remain. I like the variety of a huge cast of characters.
• press on hoping readers will eventually identify with the individual characters. This is risky because there is no glue currently keeping readers engaged. Even with spiffed up drawings I suspect the insipid dialog will be lethal. Death by word balloon.
• increase the wit and wisdom of student comments. When I read a really good book I hang on every word, dreading the end. I want it to keep on going. Here's where fantasy crashes against reality. I just don't have the synaptic chops to charm audiences like Steve Martin, Woody Allen, David Sedaris, Dave Barry, Mark Twain, Tina Fey, Robert Benchley, S J Pereleman, Bill Bryson, Daniel Gilbert, Soren Kierkegaard (he knocked 'em dead in Denmark), or (insert name here). 
• press on and hope to find readers with low expectations. Surely in a planet of 7 billion somebody, somewhere likes bad puns, angst overkill, and talking heads.
• abandon audience approval entirely and write the book I wish I had in college. In a later post I'll reproduce some cartoons I drew while at UW '79-'81.
• gamble my reputation on good drawings justifying boring text. This is a huge gamble and I'm notorious for losing gambles. Want proof? My closets are full of manuscripts, wheels, drawings and self published books that failed to garner audience interest. I killed a small forest trying to get traction as a purveyor of peace making comics, sapiential psychology, and mixed metaphors. 
• change my audience. Instead of modern college students perhaps I should aim to connect with fundamentalists. Ecclesiastes is in their book and my graphic novel would call attention to and validate its message. This, however, may prove the hardest sell of all because fundamentalists are disinclined to grapple with randomness, failed theodicies, and the puncturing of tidy systematic theology. Nobody likes to be told the king has no clothes or that Pollyanna providence is a myth. 

I have to leave for work soon so must end this problem solving musing. My inner optimist believes that there is an answer to this somewhere, I just haven't found it yet. I'll mull over these options and see which sticks. 

Random Observations about Cartooning

With as much effort as I'm putting into this graphic novel the thought has occurred to me more than once, "Buy a computer soft ware art program for the finished product." It's not the $600 price tag that deters me, it's the learning curve. Drawing on a tablet just doesn't seem right to this old time ink-slinger. Yet, the colored pencils and colored markers I've been using look terrible. Granted, I'm knocking out talking heads at this point rather hastily simply to give the dialog a mouth from which to emanate. But the Platonic graphic novel in my head looks much better than the way Draft 5 looks on the screen or on hard copy.

I just finished page 33 (66 half pages). The changing background color is working for me....but I've yet to crack the following problems:

1. How do I help readers keep the many characters clear? At least I haven't given them Russian names. I actually haven't given them any names in the text yet. Do I add a "Cast of Characters" page? If so, up front or in an appendix? Or sprinkled throughout the text when they each make their first appearance?
2. Do I need a background? All those photos of the university class room may be pointless since the talking heads take up almost the whole panel. 
3. What will sustain readers' interest? It seems at this point only a very dedicated student of Ecclesiastes would stay focused. Everyone else's eyes will glaze over given the monotonous repetition of panels, layout, and talking heads.
4. Do I cite references, days, name of lecture? I do on the blog where I'm posting the rough draft (click HERE). But readers of the final product will not have access to additional factoids.
5. Is there a way I can leverage 2000 talking heads to my advantage? Rather than trying to break up the monotony with a sly inclusion of field trips, long shots, Power Point and lap top screen images (pretending that 2000 talking heads in a comic book is normal), maybe I can claim the talking heads as my raison d'etre. I'm not interested in changing the name Ecclesiastes University, but maybe I can add a tag line letting readers know I'm including 2000 talking heads on purpose, with artfulness, and with existential intention. Now to come up with such a tag line: 49 University Students Recoil from a Socratic Cattle Prod, Ancient Existentialism Unleashed on One Hundred Fertile Cerebrums, or, Be Glad I Didn't Draw Each Synapse. I'll keep working on it.

The pace of production is slow, slow, slow. But it's a zen-like, pleasant slow. I doodle alone in this big house sans five kids and loving wife. I'm somewhat astonished that I can sit in silence (apart from the melodic noise of our neighbors chickens and horses) for five hours scribbling, inking, scanning, and uploading. If I were under an editor's deadline I'd be in big trouble. But as it is I'm progressing at a pace that fits my work load, energy load, and interest load.

Which raises this important question: is there rhyme or reason to the ebb and flow of one's focus? For the first time since last December, earlier this week I spent two days not working on Ecclesiastes University. I wasn't depressed (I don't think), bored, or passionless about this project. I watched TV, Netflix, read good books, cleaned the house, washed clothes, went to work. But I couldn't muster the oomph to put lines on paper. If I knew what factors deterred me from productive labor I'd know what to avoid. 

That facial expression book I bought a while back is helpful. As are the reference photos I've been taking of hands, body language, etc. I don't draw from nothing; I use reference materials. 

I perused a collection of a reprinted newspaper comic strip called Foxtrot. It's consistently funny in 4 black and white panels. It's hard for me to be objective about my humor since my humor-o-meter is distracted with the other meters against which I am constantly measuring myself: philosophy, character development, drawing facial expressions, and many more. My First Readers are giving consistent feedback that my book is not funny and I believe them. It's in my mind to rework the dialog once I complete Draft Five: inserting jokes into a narrative flow will be easier than adjusting the narrative flow around the jokes. Or so I tell myself.

Detail, page 29

I cut and pasted friend Mark's old caricature here which is illustrative of the style of drawing I anticipate using in the final draft. It also demonstrates why I'm so unhappy with the rough cartoons I'm using in Draft Five. I'm working with drawings that are only weak approximations of what I envision the finished product to look like. But even with shaded caricatures like this I'm not sure good drawings are enough to sustain readers' attention. I'm zealous to write dialog that is sterling in its own right, the addition of well crafted drawings only adding value. 

No wonder my lawn gets mowed so infrequently...I'm obsessed with this project.

Joy, Joy, Joy, Joy of Drawing

Rather then cook up characters out of thin air I thought I'd peruse my collected drawings for candidates. I have boxes and boxes of stuff I've drawn over the years and I kept them "in case I could ever use them in the future." That future is here!

I then plop myself on our living room couch and think graphically!

I didn't leave clear directions when plotting chapter one so I'm using sticky notes to figure out who is sitting where.

I then sketch the character on rough Draft Five. I'm coloring them in, too, just for the fun of it. Pictured above: the character I've named Karenoia (the anxiety queen), and Joker (the bon mot king). I've also got preliminary drawings of Dr. Q, TA, and a few others.

This new stage of creation has my adrenaline pumping, dopamine surging, and serotonin gushing. The pleasure is hard to describe but take my word for it, few endeavors bring me this much joy.

Musings on MetaMaus by Art Spiegelman

To break up the mind numbing tedium of tweaking panels and word balloons I gave my synapses a break and devoured Art Spiegelman's memoir of how he created the Pulitzer prizewinning graphic novel, Maus.

Here are comments I found most stimulating.

“…in making this kind of work, one has to inhabit and identify with each character. You have to act out their poses, you have to think them through…it is true that there is a kind of gestalting necessary just to be able to inhabit each character.” P. 35

I've written elsewhere about sub-personalities but this was a nice reminder that I am in my creation.

“I’d conceived of making some long comic book that needed a bookmark…and had to find something actually worth doing. I didn't have the stamina to devote myself to a one-hundred, two-hundred, three-hundred-page book just to serve up a lot of yucks or escapist melodrama.” P. 42

I relate. My work includes humor because "the sweetness of lips increases learning," (Proverbs). But humor isn't the point. My pictures and text will serve a greater purpose, simplifying one of history's most under appreciated existential texts.

“I guess I've always preferred research to writing or drawing.” P. 43

I'm doing hardly any research (other than arranging with a college professor friend of mine permission to take reference photos inside a large classroom). I'm making no trips to Poland or the New York Public library. 

“I remember a line from Shoah. A Jewish commander of the 1943 Warsaw ghetto uprising says, ‘If you could lick my heart it would poison you.’ It indicates just how complete the absence of sunlight can be. To find a tone that could be informed by that bleakness and not be an inevitable prescription for suicide was difficult…To avoid that and still allow for the small moments that are what make a life worth living demanded a tone that I needed to find in Maus: how to avoid despair or cynicism without becoming fatuous. And Pavel’s discussion of what it means to soberly take stock of just how fucking meaningless everything is and what one nevertheless does from moment to moment was very useful for me—not just as a cartoonist, but as a model to aspire to.” P. 70

Dr. Q's bleak pessimism could inspire suicidal thoughts in the vulnerable, so my purpose is to validate his pessimism (if world affairs don't make you depressed you're not paying attention) while hoping to call attention to as Art says, what one nevertheless does from moment to moment. This is the existentialist challenge.

“In 2007 the Anne Frank House published a fictionalized color series of graphic novels specifically for an international teaching aid about the Holocaust. They’re very earnest and drawn in a pleasant Tin Tin style.” P. 127

Oh-oh. Tin Tin has been my inspiration. Looks like Ecclesiastes University will be drawn in a "pleasant" style.

“During that period of groping for a style, I also thought about cutting between the present and the past by having black and white line drawings intercut with gray wash drawings, or using full-color, which would have been way too decorative….” P. 145

And EU will be drawn in a decorative style! If the medium is the message, and the medium is pleasant and decorative, how will that "carry" the angst? The in-congruent juxtaposition may serve me well: an absurd linkage of pleasant decoration with philosophical nihilism may just be the absurd boost I'll need to pull this off.

More musings later.

Status Report

Just finished page 289 (Eccl. 8:9) in Draft Four.

Each successive draft takes longer than the one previous. I would not have predicted this. I thought things would go faster as time passes. Alas, I am very wrong. The reasons for the slow down? In earlier drafts one could slop any old idea together. As one nears completion one becomes more careful knowing the days of editing are nearing an end.

Draft Four is 428 pages of hard copy with completed text, word balloons, and panel arrangements just waiting for pencil roughs. When I do the pencil sketches on Draft Four do I still call it Draft Four? Draft Five doesn't seem right. How about Draft Four, Part Two?

The stage (as I now imagine it) will be an angular, straight lines, interior class room. The characters will be lumpy and round and flexible. Lumpy characters on their angular stage will be "carried" in panels which themselves are angular, square, rectangle, and uniform. The six panel "grid" for each page gives me leeway to combine panels in about 6-8 configurations. But they're all very orderly and not cartoony at all. This raises an interesting question about graphic novels. When does the art serve itself rather than the text? I don't want to get so fancy with drawing that story flow is sabotaged.

Creating is evolution; evolution is creation. As I tweak dialog and word balloons I'm tantalized by the visual jokes I anticipate making (pictures on student tee shirts, caricatures, Power Point slide shows, lap top screens). The odd thing is....I don't know what those jokes will be but I'm confident they'll show up when I need them.

I purchased METAMAUS by Art Spiegelman. He won a Pulitzer for his graphic novel, MAUS. As I read METAMAUS I'm hoping to find tips on how I too can win a Pulitzer. There are so many differences between our creations that I'm not holding my breath. At the same time, I am highly inspired by his process.  It took him eleven years! I'm giving myself one to two, max. He started when he was 24. I'm almost 60. Were I young I'd perhaps be more careful and thorough. Sadly, I gotta get this book done soon as there are other tasks I need to accomplish in my third third (age 60-90).

Graphic Novels and the Ecclesiastes' World View

If one ever had second thoughts about investing six to twelve (or more) months of their life creating a graphic novel based on Ecclesiastes one could turn to the Hebrew scripture itself and with a little ingenuity construct an apologetic for such a task.

"Everything is meaningless." This being the case one might as well create a graphic novel as cure disease or mow lawns.

"The eye never has enough of seeing." This being the case one might as well make pictures to satiate ocular cravings.

"I denied myself nothing my eyes desired." This being the case one might as well indulge their dream of creating a Tin Tin like novel.

"[Heirs] will control all the work into which I have poured my effort and skill."  This being the case one might as well leave heirs a graphic novel. What would they do with Microsoft stock, anyway?

"There is a time to laugh." This being the case one would rather leave heirs something comic rather than tragic.

"All achievement spring from a man's envy." This being the case one might as well try to create a second graphic novel to win a Pulitzer Prize. Why should Art Spiegelman (MAUS) have all the fun?

"As goods increase...what benefit are they to the owner except to feast his eyes on them." This being the case what's wrong with one doing their best to create objets d'art?

"The end of a matter is better than the beginning." This being the case one might as well finish what he started.

"There is a proper time and procedure for every matter, though a man's misery weighs heavily upon him." This being the case one might as well assuage grief with creativity.

"I commend the enjoyment of life." This being the case one might as well find joy in questioning sages from ancient history who asked questions.

"Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might." This being the case one might as well spend hour after hour with a mouse clicking, dragging, clicking, dragging, clicking, dragging.....

"You do not know what will succeed." This being the case one might as well invest months and months creating art in a genre that has traditionally been ignored by mainstream literary critics due to the perception that these works are primarily entertainment, intended for children or adolescents, with little or no lasting literary merit.

"Of the making of books there is no end." This being the case one might as well add one more paper product to the Library of Congress.

But if one never has second thoughts about investing 1/60th of their life making a big comic book the above is moot. 

Let the Layouts Begin

Since Dec. 15 last year I've been stringing together nouns and verbs and adjectives to tell a story. The dialog that I've created these five months has now been divided into over 2000 word balloons, the space of each being smaller than a 140 character tweet.

During the writing process I've tried my hardest not to think visually. I've forced my word making lobes to have precedence over my picture making lobes. I've not been entirely successful; visual images have sneaked into the making of this book.

But now, at long last, the words are as done as they're going to be. I suspect future proof readers will catch glaring gaffs and omissions and make editorial suggestions which I will welcome. But as of this evening I'm officially finished creating words, writing text, and telling stories. The novel part of this graphic novel is done. It's time for graphics!

This means I'm now going to look at 428 pages of Draft Three using my picture making lobes. I'm going to size up each page and arrange in my mind's eye panel adjustments, combinations, divisions, and settings. Character development isn't in the works yet. I'm merely plotting the stage, the rows of seats, the blocking, and whose face appears in which panels. As mentioned earlier, this is the delicious task I've been drooling over. I want to write a novel because I like to write, and I want to create a graphic novel because I like to draw.

Some things to ponder as I make this major shift.

1.  I've given myself time estimates for the creation of a pencil ready rough draft. Let's see how long blocking takes.

2.  Will using my graphic lobes (visual cortex?) create as much dopamine as writing did? We'll see.

3.  How will the addition of space and air and bodies and faces affect the text I've created? I'm not merely illustrating raw words. I'm illustrating words which have been crafted in anticipation of getting the graphic treatment. Writer's old saw, "Show, don't tell," is certainly apropos for graphic novels.

4.  The template I've created for each page consists of six equal sized panels. Now that the writing is done I have the brain power to focus on changing, adapting, and morphing those six panels. Pages could become one large panel, two rows of one rectangle panel each, two rows each comprised of one panel plus two combined panels, and etc. etc. etc. As I sketch these out I'll post 'em here so you can see what I'm talking about.

5. Just as pictures were not entirely expunged from my brain while writing words, I suspect the characters yet to be created will not be entirely expunged from creating this stage. To use an exaggerated example, if I knew I had a ten foot tall character I'd be forced to create a stage that could accommodate a giant. Lacking such a character I'll be creating a normal sized class room. But that in turn requires that I not create any ten foot tall characters. In other words, I'm able to play with several variables as I create the stage for the characters.

6.  Odds and ends: I'll be trying to incorporate skulls and hourglasses into the class room in homage to "vanitas" paintings of yore. I'm going to sneak in some M. C. Escher like images in homage to my hero. I'm going to put a window in the class room so the A.D.D. characters can stare out it. I'm going to link word balloons so one speaker need not be redrawn over and over. I'm going to do a lot of guessing letting my visual sense of what looks good be my guide. This is highly risky because I thought Comic Sans looked good and that just about killed me.

Three Drafts Video Review

The Tedium Chronicles

The new thing to report in this memoir about creating a graphic novel is, "Tedium is a type of creativity." I'm up to page 324 of editing word balloons. After the first hour of mind numbing click and drag, my mind finds ways to engage itself. It's almost like meditation. I haven't had a job with repetitive motions in 40 years so I'm unaccustomed to looking for things to keep my bored mind busy while my hands do the work.

But at this stage in spiffing up Draft Three I treat each page as a stand alone work of art. The content and position of the word balloons is as important as the (still to come) drawings. 428 pages sounds cumbersome and beyond realistic for a graphic novel. But I embrace each of those 428 pages as (listing as many metaphors as I can) a link in a chain, brick in a wall, cell in a living being, tiny scoop of dirt while tunneling under prison walls, and cog on a wheel. In short, rather than dialing down my mental expectations I elevate the work I'm doing. Tedium forces me to turn mundane tasks into significant parts of the larger whole.

Aphorism of the day: if you feel like a cog on a wheel either resign yourself to lowly cog-dom or remind yourself of the importance of the wheel.

Okay, back to clicking and dragging.....

Time Travel

While spending many tedious hours this morning manipulating my mouse creating spiffier text boxes with a new and improved font (Draft 3), my mind wanders. What would my 18 year old self think if he were transported from 1970 to 2012 to observe the (nearly) 60 year old self he became? I imagine that younger me being an invisible ghost watching with dumbfounded awe at the old guy he became. I am so unlike what the young me imagined I'd be. Here's what I imagine the young me would write in his journal.

I ended up living alone? Yikes! What year is this? Where am I? Who the heck is this old guy? Where's his family? Is he not married? He has no dog? I loved my dogs growing up. And no guitar? No Beatles in the background? Why is he listening to Miles Davis? I hated Miles Davis in high school.


He stares at a flat box on his lap that glows. What the heck is that blue thing in his hand? Did the young me turn into a sorcerer? How can he do such magic? He rubs that blue thing on the couch cushion, clicking and clicking, and pictures on that lap thing change! Holy crap, what is happening?


Why isn't he working? It's 9:00 AM on a Friday and he sits in this living room hour after hour moving that blue thing around. Is his rich? How does he pay his bills? Where are Mom and Dad? The back yard is all green--trees, leaves, lawn, bushes. It looks like Washington State but I can't be sure. I never got to Australia like I hoped? Nuts!


I can see that he's working on a comic book. Well that looks familiar....some things never change. I used to sit in my room in silence and draw for hours and hours when I was 18, too. 


I see I grew facial hair. Where was that beard when I needed it? I would have killed to be able to grow a beard in high school. But the pot belly, gray hair, crows feet, and glasses make me look like the dorky adults that intimidated me as a teen. I'm actually astonished that I made it to 100 or however old that ancient me is. 


What's with that stack of books about Ecclesiastes doing on the coffee table? Did I become a religious fanatic? And why is he drinking coffee? I hated coffee as a teenager. 


Where are my buddies Jeff, Paul, John? I still can't figure out why nobody's around. Is he in some kind of jail? House arrest? Maybe the world ended like in Twilight Zone and he's the last guy on earth. I see a TV in the living room. Why isn't it on? I loved TV when I was in high school. I wonder if Gilligan ever got off the island. 

God, Disease, and Glibness

When I was a Calvinist pastor (23 years) I could glibly site all the Bible passages that made God responsible for sickness: Exodus 4:11, Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Deuteronomy 32:39, There is no God besides me. I put to death and I bring to life, I have wounded and I will heal, and no one can deliver out of my hand. Ecclesiastes 7:14, When times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other. Not to mention a hundred other proof texts for the sovereignty of God concerning plagues, disease, calamity, destruction, trials, tribulation, and all manner of abysmal conditions.

Now that my wife is terminally ill I'm not so glib. Times are bad. Unlike Job's wife I'm not inclined to curse God and die. Atheism would certainly solve the theodicy problem but theism is in my DNA, not to mention creating a host of new problems (namely, the problem of good, beauty, and meaning). For existential reasons I choose faith despite this apparent reason not to believe.

But neither am I, in true evangelical fashion, able to say with glib confidence that her Alzheimer's is to teach character, bring glory to God, the result of sin, or the consequence of the fall of Adam. I'm a child of Adam and I don't have this disease. There is a category of illness in the Bible called, "sickness unto death" but that still doesn't answer the "Why her?" question. I try not to dwell on this too much; I have trained myself rather to ask the, "What do I do next?" question.

Yet I can't avoid asking the why questions. I'm pounded every day with a clash between a God I want to love/trust and visits to see Vicki. I'm not enamored of the One who put my young wife in a nursing home. (If you want to know what I see there, read Ecclesiastes 12:1-7. Or wait about a year until my illustrated version comes out).

Which brings me to the impetus for spending five months (with more to come) creating a graphic novel based on the book of Ecclesiastes. Qoheleth touches something deep within me. Despite his glowing endorsement as a wise man of God by the editor in chapter 12:9-14, I doubt that his brand of doubt would garner him any ministry positions in a modern evangelical church. Certitude (glibness?) seems to be a litmus test for orthodoxy. Yet here's a Bible writer wracked with anxiety due to the clash between his theology and the evil he saw all around him.

I can understand why Ecclesiastes isn't popular. It's gloomy! And I also see why when Ecclesiastes does get air time Qoheleth's tensions are sanitized by glib dismissal, relegating his words to the trash bin of secular humanism, and thus easily ignored.

But the guy wasn't a secular humanist. He was a sage puzzled by the problem of evil. Ecclesiastes University is my attempt to come to grips with this very personal issue.

Bringing Draft Number Two in for a Landing

Today is May 13 (2012). My deadline for finishing draft two is May 15. I think I'll make it! Already I'm drooling over the next tasks. Once all 420 pages are completed I'm going to:

• read the whole thing cover to cover in hard copy. I'm still old fashioned enough that I don't trust editing on screens. I'll be looking for major plot gaffs, repetitions, and other errors.
• read the whole thing through the eyes of each character. One of the reasons I've attached pictures to the word balloons is so I can scan the document with my eyes tracing the dialog of each character. Are they consistent? Do any of them make out of character comments? Is there growth (toward or away from Dr. Q)? 
• read the whole thing again visualizing sections. I've broken the twelve chapters into 25 working files (EU1 to EU25). But each of those files contains thought units which will be identified by unique background colors. Within each thought unit I'll be checking to see how many characters are present, how many I can expunge, replace, or combine with others?

Once those corrections are made I then begin the delicious work of printing finished pages on which to draw pencil roughs. This will help with blocking (where characters stand), setting (what's on the class room walls?), clothing, passage of time, etc.

Final draft four will be lightly penciled, then inked, then colored with color pencils.

I hope to scan those pages for public consumption either here on Blogger (if the quality coheres) or on a new website dedicated to this project. The anticipation is releasing dopamine into my system even as I type. Creativity is so much fun. 

Verbal Combat and a Metaphor Menagerie

This graphic novel is a novel of verbal combat.

Dr. Q makes statements--erratic, shocking, evocative, provocative, illogical, common-sensical--and students respond in kind. In fencing there is parry and trust.

In debate there is point and counter point.

In boxing there is pummeling and blocking.

Today I'll compare the classroom combat to base ball. Dr. Q pitches curve balls, fast balls, spit balls, in the strike zone and out, balks, etc.

Students swing and miss, swing and foul, get beaned, not swing at all, or, in this fantasy world, steal first base!

What makes writing this thing so dang interesting to me is the infinite variety of configurations and permutations. I can't control what comes out of Dr. Q's mouth; this is okay. On his own he comes up with the most outrageous quotes which are like food for thought...

...grist for the mill...

... and toss of dice, the outcome of which determines how much money each student bets.

But I control (back to my baseball metaphor) which batter/student comes up to bat. In baseball, if coaches knew what pitch was coming they'd arrange the line up in order to maximize hits. In this novel I'm not interested in giving each batter/student a base hit or home run. I'm arranging the verbal pitches and swings in such a way to portray how Dr. Q's steady stream of pitches slowly galvanizes some students...

... and molds/shapes others.

I haven't started drawing yet but I suspect I'll even be able to manipulate Dr. Q's facial expressions so he too is either galvanized or molded by his students.

The plot of the book is to trace the gradual changes students go through. The same sun that hardens the clay ...

... melts the ice.

The same teacher who drives some students from the class prompts others to stay and fight, stay and defend, or stay and grapple.

I choose which student comes up to bat and then I choose how they respond to Dr. Q's pitch. How do I do this? It's all very mysterious, actually. I sit here in silence and mentally flip through the roster of nineteen or twenty potential batters. When I stumble upon the batter that best fits the plot, I then I flip through the dozen or so possible responses: agree, disagree, explain, argue back, mock, make jokes, worry, stubbornly resist being influenced, or succumb to Dr. Q's influence like falling dominoes.

There's one more thing I keep juggling in my head--continuity through all 400+ pages. I've got to keep the characters in character while at the same time portraying growth, change, or resistance keeping the class whole. It's like those videos you've seen of flocks of birds flying in sync.

What made the Rubik's Cube so popular was the perfect blend of simplicity and complexity.

The plot of this graphic novel is boringly simple. A guy talks; students respond. But the narrative drama is infinitely complex. Twenty or so students twist and turn, align or contrast, cohere or get jumbled. It's like playing chess with pieces with free will...

...like playing music with liquid sheet music...

... like playing philosophical whack-a-mole.

End of metaphor menagerie. You can kill me now.

Stalled on Eccl. 8:10-17

Chapter 7 and the first half of chapter 8 finished with a flourish. But these final 8 verses (EU19) are a killer.

¹⁰ Then too, I saw the wicked buried —those who used to come and go from the holy place and receive praise^[a] in the city where they did this. This too is meaningless. ¹¹ When the sentence for a crime is not quickly carried out, the hearts of the people are filled with schemes to do wrong. ¹² Although a wicked man commits a hundred crimes and still lives a long time, I know that it will go better with God-fearing men,who are reverent before God. ¹³ Yet because the wicked do not fear God, it will not go well with them, and their days will not lengthen like a shadow. ¹⁴ There is something else meaningless that occurs on earth: righteous men who get what the wicked deserve, and wicked men who get what the righteous deserve. This too, I say, is meaningless. ¹⁵ So I commend the enjoyment of life , because nothing is better for a man under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany him in his work all the days of the life God has given him under the sun. ¹⁶ When I applied my mind to know wisdom and to observe man’s labor on earth —his eyes not seeing sleep day or night— ¹⁷ then I saw all that God has done. No one can comprehend what goes on under the sun. Despite all his efforts to search it out, man cannot discover its meaning. Even if a wise man claims he knows, he cannot really comprehend it.

My mission is to illustrate this passage in a way that helps readers "get" what Dr. Q is saying. The challenge is to fit it into the narrative arc of the novel AND make it funny. I also feel my self imposed deadline approaching so I'm working under pressure. That's just what I don't need. Creative writing is hamstrung when rushed. The beauty of this project has been the luxuriant ease with which I sit silently and, in a semi contemplative state, let ideas emerge. 

This isn't to say the work is easy. I'm juggling 101 things in my head at once and keeping all the loose ends straight is hard work...as is avoiding mixed metaphors. 

My resolve weakens in moments like this. I feel discouraged and dried up. The ideas aren't emerging. The complexity of stringing these random verses together into a plot is maddening. I've got some good ideas but there are gaps. Who is speaking? How many different ways can I have the students riff on "meaningless?" And I'm haunted by the existential angst of, "Does the world need more verbiage about existential angst?" 

On the bright side: I do entertain the fantasy that once this script is finished and have drawn model sheets for the 20 main characters, I'll draw pages with superlative artiness and verve. The odds of this happening are actually quite slim since I'm not that great an artist. But in my imagination I create real arty art. It's funny how I can be enthused, discouraged, grandiose, delusional, and plum out of ideas all at once.

It's 10:25 PM, it's been a long day visiting Vicki, moving furniture for my mother, cleaning the house, and spinning my wheels with this text. Let's hope for a creative breakthrough tomorrow.

Revised Time Line

In a previous post I mentioned I'd like to be done with Draft Two by May 15. That's only two weeks away. My self imposed deadline was overly ambitious!

Today I'm finishing EU17 (Ecclesiastes 7), page 272. I've still got 144 pages to go. Editing Draft One has been a fun but massive project since it was atrocious. Here are the challenges of creating Draft Two:

1. Characters: I wrote the words first and am now figuring out who said them. This task is sheer bliss but it's time consuming. God invented people in seven days. It takes me a little longer.
2. Character depth and consistency: My hope is to create characters readers care about. I gotta keep them "in character" and hopefully multidimensional (as if comic book characters can have depth).
3. Staging: who is on stage (in the panel), what's the fewest number of characters necessary to complete a thought unit, how often do I reveal a new character, and have characters storm out of classroom?
4. Text: the rough dialog in Draft One had potential. In Draft Two I'm sharpening the philosophy, theology, psychology, and humor sometimes eliminating the dialog entirely and rewriting from scratch.
5. Word balloons. I'm putting Publisher's Basic Shapes boxes around each text box. Six boxes per page times 272 pages (so far) is 1632 boxes too many! Again, highly time consuming. But this will save me having to hand draw them. Uniform and crisp text boxes will add a touch of gravitas and hopefully will subtlety accentuate the words; hand drawn boxes will be distracting.
6. Cutting and pasting. Rifling though my file of 20 characters, cutting out each face, scotch taping them to Draft Two is all very time consuming. 
7. Emailing. I do all this work on my lap top which is not hooked up to a printer. I therefore email finished files to my desk top (in the next room) and print hard copies there. 
8. Mulling. These first seven challenges are peppered with my ongoing inner dialog, "What's the time line of this thing? Do the characters change clothes? How do I get drop outs back into the classroom? How will Mr. Q respond when challenged by students? How will I divide the printed book? 416 Publisher pages will become 208 Paint pages. But there's no 208 page graphic novel. Do I print this as a four part trilogy? A ten part mini comic? Do I print hard copies at all or is it pure digital? Who will I get to proof read this? Do line editing? Evaluate the plot, humor, coherence, etc?"

Despite all these challenges...I'm still shooting for the May 15 deadline to complete Draft Two. 

I suspect I'm going to print a hard copy Draft Three on which I'll draw penciled layouts. (I'm anticipating the joy of designing pages, getting creative with panel shapes, and drawing detailed spreads of the whole class room). I dare not ink/color Draft Three however. That will be Draft Four. I'll give Draft Three to some folks for their feedback. Sigh....that puts me months behind schedule. Oh well. 

First Full Pages

I've been creating this graphic novel on Microsoft Publisher. Each phrase from Ecclesiastes is printed in the word balloon of the first of six panels on an 8.5" x 11" (landscape) page. My plan from the beginning was to clip and paste two landscape pages on top of each other in the Paint program. Having just reached page number 250 I thought I'd combine two landscape pages for the very first time.

Disclaimer: the faces are provisional, the word balloons need a new font (Comic Sans is over used) in all caps (as seems to be the industry standard) and they lack the tail thingy that lets readers know who is speaking. The coloring is haphazard, the pagination is convoluted (250 Publisher landscape pages = 125 Paint pages; not sure how to number them yet). My point in this exercise is to check the readability of the word balloons and to see if the background color makes them more legible. The text is in its second draft so further editing is in store.

Background. There are four characters in this thought unit, Mr Q (speaking the words of Ecclesiastes), the evangelical Christian girl who is sweet on the militaristic vet, both of whom are chided by the feminist with big hair.

Here are the results.

Addendum: Now that I see what a completed page looks like on screen I see I've got much more work to do to make it legible. I'd planned on posting the finished pages on this blog but I think I'll need my own domain name. That means more expense but after all the work I'm putting into this thing (30-40 hours a week) I want to show case the work in a quality way. Setting up web sites is relatively easy these days but I'm not yet ready to launch something new.

Checklist for Editing

While listening to Janet Evanovich's book, How To Write I came across this very challenging checklist for editing.

1. Did you read your manuscript as though reading it for the very first time?
2. Does your story grab the reader's interest right away?
3. Is it clear what the main characters want and what motivates them?
4. Is it clear that someone or some thing doesn't want your characters to reach their goal?
5. Will the readers be able to identify with and care about the characters and what happens to them?
6. Is the villain strong enough to give your characters a true challenge?
7. Did you edit out all the parts of the novel that bog the story down and are unnecessary, especially in the middle?
8. Do you need to add a scene in order to keep the stakes high and the momentum rolling, especially in the middle?
9. Does the dialog sound realistic?
10. Does the rhythm of the dialog suit the character?
11. Is the ending satisfying to your reader?
12. Have you edited out words that serve no function? Don't use 20 words when 5 will do.
13. Does every discussion or scene move the plot forward?
14. Does every sentence move the discussion or scene forward?
15. Is every action in keeping with the characters' nature and personality?
16. Are all of your loose ends tied up by the end of the novel?
17. Is it clear that the reader knows who is speaking?

Qs 3 and 4 grabbed me the most. There are many differences between crime fiction and a graphic novel locked into the text from Ecclesiastes, but I aspire to include characters with goals and obstacles. BIG CHALLENGE! But that's the fun of this project. 

Words, Pictures, Talent, and Creating People

Since beginning this graphic novel last December I continue to puzzle over several questions: am I creating a book with pictures or adding pictures to words? Do I have the time (not to mention talent) to pull this off? How does one create cartoon characters with subtlety, complexity, and depth?

Here are my musings about these questions so far (in order).

Scott McCloud and Wil Eisner have probably described the significance of words influencing drawings, drawings influencing words, and the interplay between them. Rather than read other's opinions on this subject, however, I'm learning by doing. Currently my words are only slightly influenced by my sketchy thumbnails, doodles, and drawings. Someday soon I hope my finished words will be improved as I add pictures.

Jodi Bergsma said in my last post (and I misquote), "I'm too busy writing to read books about writing." If I were 20 I'd make the time. But I'm in a race against the clock and am relying on 60 years of reading and drawing to carry the day. I read recently, "A picture is worth a thousand words, but try saying that in a picture."

In How We Decide author Jonah Leher made an interesting observation. The chess computer that beat Gary Kasporov was a terrible back gammon player, and the computer that beat the world's leading back gammon player would lose at chess. Leher's point? Unlike computers that can do one thing very well, the human brain can do lots and lots of things reasonably well. I take comfort in this. I can't write, cast, act, direct, design, philosophize, do theology or psychology, draw, or tell jokes like pros, but I can do each of those things somewhat. The combination of these tasks is what'll make this graphic novel unique.

Finally, isn't "complex cartoon characters" an oxymoron? As I create the actors in this fictional drama I must choose how many layers of personality to give each one. Currently I've divided the cast into many, many uni-(not di- or tri-) mensional characters. One character loves money, one loves jokes, one loves sex, and one loves Jesus. One loves social justice and one loves scientific materialism. One is a feminist and one is a gun toting vet. One is an aging hippy enthralled with conspiracies and drugs; another is pre-law. On and on the list goes. I'm showing no restraint in creating characters. It's actually quite easy. God used dust, I use ink.

My problem from a literary point of view: how many characters is too many? This is a graphic, not Russian, novel. I want readers to care about a few likable characters rather than feeling overwhelmed by dozens of them. The cast of FRIENDS had six main characters with dozens of secondaries. Can I do the same? As is, I've got hundreds of secondary but no main characters. Combining several disparate traits into one person adds complexity and realism; we've all got sub-personalities. But can those characters come to life with all their multiplicity, layers and conflicting desires in a comic book?

We'll just have to wait and see. The process is sheer bliss.