In Other News

Postings in August decreased for two reasons both of which form the subplot of this blog. 1) waning interest, 2) distraction.

Maintaining intense focus is my goal, having spent 60 years somewhat scattered in my interests. My trail of "un-dones" is testimony to my propensity for waning interest. This baffles me. I wish I knew why I find it so hard to stick to projects. Does the synaptic magnetism wear off? Is there a pill I can take to increase synaptic stickiness? Do I blame boredom on bad chemicals or bad character?

Getting distracted could be explained as follows: a brain gets pulled away from current projects by new projects with stronger magnetic pull. In August I've been distracted by selling a piano, pulling weeds, home repairs, visiting Vicki in her tragic decline, gearing up to sell this house, schmoozing with my guy pals, reading adrenaline pumping books (Righteous Mind, Fooled by Randomness, Thinking Fast and Slow, The Happiness Hypothesis, Platform, The Christian Agnostic, The Examined Life [by an author new to me, Robert Nozick], Screwtape Letters), watching a TV series on DVD my son the cop recommended, and mediating conflicts for clients.

To regain focus I've got two options: remove the distractions (decrease their magnetism), or re-ignite interest (by increasing the magnetism of current projects). If I could figure out how to do this I'd win a Nobel Prize. I once vowed to quit buying new books to "force" myself to finish the ones I had, I cancelled my New Yorker subscription, and tried to starve myself of new thoughts thus requiring me to relish the old ones. I failed.

Even now, I'm drawn to mow my lawn in the cool of the morning since 90 degree weather is  predicted during which time mowing a lawn will be difficult. Life gets in the way of projects. Which is a conundrum of Ecclesiastes proportions. Repetition, dissatisfaction, competing desires, boredom,   and the ebb and flow of changing interests are great mysteries.

I Dreamed of a Narrator for Ecclesiastes University

Once I hit the pause button to rethink the structure of this book my conscious mind went numb, "How do I integrate the helpful comments from my first readers without starting from scratch?" Thankfully, my subconscious mind did not quit working. 

I dreamed I invented a narrator, a new main character, who spoke in the first person to a therapist about his depression. He showed the therapist his “notes” which were the comic strip pages already drawn. I drew the narrator's thumb on the right side of the pages holding the comic book for his therapist to read. I also inserted snap shot drawings of the students like when someone takes a photo in a movie and the picture freezes and turns momentarily to black and white. I was freed from strict linearity and could time travel with ease. It was quite liberating, actually.

This dream was also disconcerting because I was trying to do math in my sleep…how can I add pages/panels with as little re-editing as possible? Each day lecture needs an even number of pages, and I CAN’T disassemble each Publisher Page and relocate the existing word balloons. 

Random Thoughts about Narration

Currently, there is no narrator. Readers listen in on the images/dialog that some unnamed person (the cartoonist) provides. An invisible entity chooses camera angles, what to leave out between panels, who says what, etc. I think this is what tires readers. They are borne along with little time to breathe during the journey. A narrator would (if my dream was correct) assist readers in plot.

A narrator talking to a therapist is too 1960s and Woody Allen-ish.

Who was the narrator is Metamorphosis? "As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect-like creature."

Are narrators omniscient? They must be in order to convey the plot to the audience. Wiki says, 

"The narrator may be a fictive person devised by the author as a stand-alone entity, or may even be a character. The narrator is considered participant if an actual character in the story, and nonparticipant if only an implied character, or a sort of omniscient or semi-omniscient being who does not take part in the story but only relates it to the audience."

I need a narrator who is not enveloped by Dr. Q's philosophical musings. 

Some narrator options

• a demon “taking photos” of each character rooting for skepticism, doubt, atheism, and/or nihilism to take over. 
• an angel “taking photos” rooting for faith/hope/love to take over.
• a hapless student (not me) musing about depression
• a hapless student (me) musing about depression
• God
• Fly on the wall
• Alien
• Solomon

The narrator could “reflect” at the end of each day’s lecture/riffs. If the joke was stupid he could say so. His “stance” would be objective. Unlike the students who whine about Dr. Q’s repetition and gloominess, the objective narrator could respond logically and clearly, without emotion.

Narrators narrate, but to whom is my narrator speaking? Readers, of course, but are the panels then supportive documentation for his monologue? If so, fine. But how then do I segue into the classroom pages? In other words, what is the narrator saying that would lead him to “show” students talking? 

I'm wary of adopting a Screwtape plot; Lewis gets the credit for that bit of brilliance. Plus, I don’t want to bludgeon readers with supernatural-ism, demonic or otherwise.  

Do omniscient narrators ever show emotion?

Voice-over while images zoom in from outer space into classroom (thanks, Google maps).

Given the fact that 428 Publisher pages have been set up with thousands of dialog boxes tediously put in place and filled with correct font and text, I can’t have the narrator insert his (her, its) voice into an individual page. He/she/it can only speak before and after each day. 

But this poses another huge problem….what possibly can the narrator say that would fill up an entire page? 

I could invent a new student whom the narrator watches outside of class and makes comments about….or the narrator could observe and make comments about all the students. Perhaps the narrator could comment on several of the characters between classes. I can almost visualize a second “plot” outside of the classroom.

Does the narrator have access to the character’s mind? I the cartoonist have access to the classroom lecture complete with sound and visuals. I’m enabling viewers to eavesdrop on a classroom. I do not have access into the psyche of any student (other than any conclusions we draw from attire, vocabulary, reactions, etc). Perhaps an omniscient narrator would know what students are thinking.

Does the narrator observe Dr. Q between classes? That would be fun speculation but I’m afraid I'd contaminate the pure text of Eccl with fiction.  My main characters are the students who listen and react to Dr. Q’s lecture.

A narrator could make the narrative flow more explicit. He/she/it could turn those talking heads into real persons with whom the audience could (hopefully) relate. The narrator would "model" for readers curiosity, interest, tedium, astonishment, empathy, etc.

The narrator could show the pictures and biography of each student like Base Ball Cards.

Narrator in the tone of Rod Serling: “Observe one Karenoia, plagued by OCD, and anxiety- reducing rituals. She thought her life was manageable ... until she entered Ecclesiastes University [the Twilight Zone].” 

The narrator could end each of his/her/its comments with, “Day one.” But 50 times? Yikes. Perhaps I could reduce the number of days/lectures by combining them (stretching same color over many pages).     

ALIEN DIALOG

Setting: inside space ship

Characters: two aliens, father and son

Plot: son taking dad on outing for bonding (dad agreed to let son chose the activity)

What planet are they from?

How old are they?

How’d the son know so much about earth?

How could this ever be turned into a stage play? 

Status Update

Thirty-five pages of rough draft number five have been posted on the other site for first readers to scan and comment upon. The feedback has been so helpful I've hit the pause button to rethink the whole premise of this graphic novel. 2000+ talking heads are just too boring. So what are my options?

Make the claim that the boredom is an intentional literary device to further illustrate the message of vanity, absurdity, and pointlessness. This is a bit disingenuous, like the guy who shoots his bow wildly and then draws targets around randomly shot arrows.

Scrap the whole thing and write a stage play or screen play. No more graphic novel? Ouch.

Scrap Ecclesiastes and go mow my lawn. And give up philosophical ruminations? Double ouch.

Reformat the whole thing:

• give students only 2 panels (delete the second row of 1-3 boxes) to riff on Dr. Q. This would essentially cut the book--and boredom--in half. Less is more, but that much less?
• enlarge the size of my printed hard copy thus giving me a larger drawing space in which to draw settings, props, action, etc. This would essentially render my existing 428 pages null and void...after all that work!
• put new words into Dr. Q's mouth; fictionalize him. This would make the finished product "based upon the book of Ecclesiastes" rather than "taking every word of the ancient text as is and seeing it crash against modern thinking."
• keep the format but reduce the number of characters. Theoretically I could cut the number of students in half, combining various traits into one. This would cut down the confusion of who's who but increase confusion about student motives. Currently each student represents one philosophical/emotional point of view. Blending them would make each character complex and self contradictory. Plus, I might get bored with the few students that remain. I like the variety of a huge cast of characters.
• press on hoping readers will eventually identify with the individual characters. This is risky because there is no glue currently keeping readers engaged. Even with spiffed up drawings I suspect the insipid dialog will be lethal. Death by word balloon.
• increase the wit and wisdom of student comments. When I read a really good book I hang on every word, dreading the end. I want it to keep on going. Here's where fantasy crashes against reality. I just don't have the synaptic chops to charm audiences like Steve Martin, Woody Allen, David Sedaris, Dave Barry, Mark Twain, Tina Fey, Robert Benchley, S J Pereleman, Bill Bryson, Daniel Gilbert, Soren Kierkegaard (he knocked 'em dead in Denmark), or (insert name here). 
• press on and hope to find readers with low expectations. Surely in a planet of 7 billion somebody, somewhere likes bad puns, angst overkill, and talking heads.
• abandon audience approval entirely and write the book I wish I had in college. In a later post I'll reproduce some cartoons I drew while at UW '79-'81.
• gamble my reputation on good drawings justifying boring text. This is a huge gamble and I'm notorious for losing gambles. Want proof? My closets are full of manuscripts, wheels, drawings and self published books that failed to garner audience interest. I killed a small forest trying to get traction as a purveyor of peace making comics, sapiential psychology, and mixed metaphors. 
• change my audience. Instead of modern college students perhaps I should aim to connect with fundamentalists. Ecclesiastes is in their book and my graphic novel would call attention to and validate its message. This, however, may prove the hardest sell of all because fundamentalists are disinclined to grapple with randomness, failed theodicies, and the puncturing of tidy systematic theology. Nobody likes to be told the king has no clothes or that Pollyanna providence is a myth. 

I have to leave for work soon so must end this problem solving musing. My inner optimist believes that there is an answer to this somewhere, I just haven't found it yet. I'll mull over these options and see which sticks. 

Saturday Night Ennui

It's Saturday night, 6:00 PM. I'm pulled in over a dozen different directions, and none. It's too early for bed...so here are my options.

1. Wash dinner dishes. My menu items tonight all started with C: corn, chicken, cookies, beer.

2. Weed the front yard. Dandelions are poking through the beauty bark.

3. Mow the back yard. I've let the back half go native; it's now out of control.

4. Weed whack everywhere.

5. Read more of The Righteous Mind by Jonathan Haidt. Great book; could be relevant to my graphic novel.

6.  Watch the Olympics. I turned it on briefly and watched 4 man volley ball for 2 minutes. That'll hold me 4 years.

7. Work on Ecclesiastes University script, day 8. The dialog is not only not funny, it's worse than a poke in the eye with a sharp Prismacolor pencil. That book is my priority but the creative juices aren't flowing. I just can't muster the enthusiasm to create more insipid prose. (Although the new character I introduce in that chapter has an Italian accent that I think I nailed!)

8. Work on a billable project that's due Wed. It'll be a disaster if I don't get that project finished. But I just can't muster the oomph. Maybe tomorrow.


9.  Go somewhere? I spent two hours with Vicki this afternoon and she spent the remainder of the afternoon at a baby shower for our daughter who is expecting. I spent last night at a philosophical discussion group. I had about 20 client hours this past week. I'm not isolated or starved for people. But I am antsy sitting here battling decision over-load and motivation under-load.


10. De-clutter our house. There are rooms and closets and boxes and sheds to empty out. That project would be a gift to my kids. Yet I need my kids to coach me on what to save and what to junk. 


11. Chase flies with my new electric fly swatter. My inner Hindu shudders every time I fry a fly; my inner No Fly Zone rejoices at the snap and sparks. I am conflicted. 


12. Catch up on news re. Colorado massacre in a movie theater. I could hold back my tears and gag reflex re. the insanity; but the ads depicting cuddling couples puts me in an even fouler mood. 


13.  I'm tired of Facebook, Youtube videos of wicked guitar players, and the herky-jerky stream of Netflix. Even if the pictures/words weren't maddeningly out of sync, I'm too antsy to sit still for 90 mindless minutes.


14. Practice silence and serenity. Renounce productivity. Be, not do. Yeah, like that's going to happen. 


One of my purposes of this blog is to document my maddening predilection to boredom and waning interest. It's a personal trait I very much dislike; I'd be very happy if I could discover the magic pill, silver bullet, energy booster for endless creativity and steady productivity. 


Of all of the options above I think item #2 would give me a needed change and provide the satisfaction of a weed free front yard. I'm off to get a pitchfork and attack those weeds. 

Ten Observations about Creativity and Distraction

Before launching a new blog where I'm posting the first rough draft to go public I wondered how that new endeavor might affect my creativity. Here's what I've learned.

1.  A significant portion of my brain is now hooked on feedback. Rather than blissfully creating with nary a care, I spend a considerable amount of time hoping for, anticipating, and wishing for feedback.

2.  Once I get that welcome feedback I then spend considerable time answering. Both wishing for and responding to feedback takes away from drawing.

3.  I also spend time integrating that feedback into the pages I've completed. That is, I'm now editing those first pages incorporating the great suggestions First Readers have offered. This too takes away time from penciling, inking, and posting that public rough draft.

4.  While I miss time away from drawing I must admit my ADD prone brain doesn't mind juggling all these disparate tasks. Part of the message of Ecclesiastes is that variety is the spice of life and engaging with the public over these doodles certainly adds variety.

5.  Knowing that I've now got followers on that other blog (I think about 10 of the 30 I invited) I feel additional motivation to keep on top of my self imposed posting schedule. I'm aiming for two posts per week. I'd like to do more but turning my latest rough draft into a printable rough draft is still agonizingly slow. I'm just trying to cram too much data (pencil layouts, character development, more tweaking of the dialog, inking, coloring) through too small a pipe (my brain).

6.  Posting this very rough draft feeds my sub personalities which are already prone to shame, embarrassment, and discouragement. The work in progress is a fool's errand. Each of the ingredients (humor, layout, facial expressions, section divisions, dialog, etc) are sub par and painful to read. Thus, a considerable amount of psychic time is spent fighting those self critical parts and pushing through the wall of resistance to accomplish the task at hand--illustrate the whole book of Ecclesiastes.

7.  I'm "forced" to continually dangle in front of my imagination the Platonic arch-type of a polished, finished, and honed final product. In my mind it "works." It's witty. It's unique. It's helpful. It's drawn to perfection. Readers get it. Theologians, philosophers, and depressed existentialists welcome it. This fantasy is shamed by reality--what I've posted so far falls way short of this ideal. It looks to me garish, confusing, halting, insipid, and the work of a deranged mind. Oh well. There is a perfect graphic novel based on Ecclesiastes in essence somewhere in the universe and my efforts will bring it into existence.

8.  I frame this psychic battle in positive terms. Moderating the internal debate builds character, strengthens synapses, and to be frank, is fun. Like the gambler whose dopamine neurotransmitters flow like Niagara when tossing dice, anticipating the finished product keeps my brain chemicals in a nearly constant state of mental bliss.

9.  Posting the rough draft reveals many new problems to be solved. How do I conquer the tedium of boring talking heads? How do I help readers distinguish one character from another? How do I color the thing so it looks pleasing and not so childish? How do I elevate the humor? Will the overall effect of student reactions bring clarity to readers' minds about matters of faith, existentialism, and suffering? When do I invite more First Readers? Should I invite more First Readers? These challenges distract me from the drawing task at hand but they are a pleasant distraction.

10.  Inviting a tiny slice of the public to evaluate these pages forces me to define success. If writing like Tina Fey is my goal, I've failed. If drawing like Herge is my goal, I've failed. If musing like Kierkegaard, Pascal, Dostoevsky is my goal, I've failed. If creating a work that goes viral is my goal, I've failed. If creating scenes, settings, and camera angles like Steven Spielberg is my goal, I've failed. If winning a Pulitzer like Art Spiegelman is my goal, I've failed. But if marshaling and merging dozens of tasks from my fevered brain to create a hefty existential comic book and having fun while doing so is my goal, I'm king of the hill, a gold medal winner, I get the yellow jersey, Heisman trophy, and lifetime membership in the hall of fame.

Talking Heads....blah, blah, blah

Take a gander at the book so far (in miniature). I am unhappy with what I see. Too many talking heads. All I see are talking heads! Either I'm going to invent a cutting edge, new type of graphic novel--talking heads as metaphor for the meaninglessness of life--or I've got to liven up the set.

I prefer option two, liven up the set. How? Today Bill, a university professor friend of mine, generously gave me a tour of his campus (WWU) and I took photos of the classroom in which the characters above will act out their drama.

Imagine 100 students all looking bored.

The artist contemplating the tedium of talking heads.

I can't wait to fill these chairs with my cast of characters....but for 200 pages? Yikes, I'm toast.

My first thought is, "This is impossible! How will adding inert desks improve the action?!"

Brains are wired to solve problems and I've got a big problem....how do I increase the importance of the graphics in this graphic novel? My, my, my. This is a difficultly of Biblical proportions.

Making Tedious Work Tolerable

As I near the end of Draft Four (oh joy, oh rapture) I wonder how I slogged through the weeks of mind numbing tedium. Here are the ideas I found helpful.....from the book of Ecclesiastes, of course. To make your tedious tasks tolerable I suggest you...


Fight aimlessness by answering these five questions 

1. What do people gain from all their labors at which they toil under the sun?
2. What do they gain since they toil for the wind?
3. What do people get for all the toil and anxious striving with which they labor under the sun?
4. What do workers gain from their toil?
5. For whom am I toiling, and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?

In Ecclesiastes these five questions are existential, cosmic, and rhetorical and Qoholet’s specific answers are “Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, and nobody.” If you don’t have time to be existential, if you've got bills to pay and tasks to accomplish, then write out your long term objectives, outcomes, and immediate goals. What are you going to gain from all your effort? What's the hoped for pay off?


Fight boredom with these seven reminders you’re not the first to feel this way 

1. What a heavy burden God has laid on mankind! 
2. I hated life, because the work that is done under the sun was grievous to me.
3. My heart began to despair over all my toilsome labor under the sun.
4. All their days their work is grief and pain; even at night their minds do not rest.
5. When I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless.
6. There was no end to his toil…
7. I applied my mind to observe the labor that is done on earth—people getting no sleep day or night. 

Fight slothfulness by repeating these eight calls to diligence 

1. Fools fold their hands and ruin themselves. 
2. Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might.
3. Skill will bring success.
4. Whoever watches the wind will not plant; whoever looks at the clouds will not reap.
5. Through laziness, the rafters sag; because of idle hands, the house leaks.
6. Invest in seven ventures, yes, in eight; you do not know what disaster may come upon the land.
7. Sow your seed in the morning, and at evening let your hands not be idle, for you do not know which will succeed, whether this or that, or whether both will do equally well.
8. For there is a proper time and procedure for every matter, though a person may be weighed down by misery.

Fight tedium by repeating these thirteen positive affirmations

1. My heart took delight in all my labor, and this was the reward for all my toil.
2. A person can do nothing better than to …find satisfaction in their own toil.
3. There is a time to build.
4. There is a time to weep (at the tedium) and a time to laugh (at completed tasks).
5. There is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. 
6. Find satisfaction in all [your] toil—this is the gift of God.
7. Enjoy [your] work, because that is [your] lot.
8. God keeps [us] occupied with gladness of heart.
9. It is appropriate for a person to …find satisfaction in their toilsome labor.
10. Be happy in [your] toil—this is a gift of God.
11. Banish anxiety from your heart and cast off the troubles of your body.
12. I commend the enjoyment of life.
13. Joy will accompany [you] in [your] toil all the days of the life God has given [you] under the sun.

Recall the six factors that make work interesting

1. Complexity Labor with wisdom, knowledge and skill. Give yourself little challenges to increase complexity (and interest). I asked myself, "how many pages can I complete in an hour, how many pages in a day or a week?"
2. Competition All toil and all achievement spring from one person’s envy of another. We don’t want to covet another person’s job, but we can emulate and try to exceed other's skill.
3. Deadlines Remember your creator …before the days of trouble come and the years approach when you will say, “I find no pleasure in them.” Keep the grave in mind; we’re all in a race against the clock, the grim reaper, and the coming days of trouble.
4. Variety Better one handful with tranquility than two handfuls with toil. Take breaks, break up the tedium with leisure…change work locations. I'd go from the living room couch to the kitchen table to my office desk.
5. Ethics: Follow the ways of your heart and whatever your eyes see, but know that for all these things God will bring you into judgment. There are lines which should not be crossed and staying within those bounds requires creativity.
6. Completion: The end of a matter is better than its beginning. Dangling finished task in front of you eggs us on. 

I've turned the book of Ecclesiastes into a "how to" book which it definitely is not. Yet, because I've marinated my brain in absurdities, ambiguities, and anomalies for the last seven months I give myself permission to throw hermeneutics out the window.