Ecclesiastes Deserves Its Negative Reputation

In college I learned the difference between snarl and purr words. Snarl words grate on us, irritate us, carry a negative connotation. Purr words soothe, comfort, and assuage anxiety.

Neuro Linquistic Programming (NLP) puts great stock in paying attention to how many snarl words clutter our vocabulary. The theory being, replace snarl words with purr words and thereby improve one's outlook on life.

Qoheleth never got the memo. Here, for your reading enjoyment, is a list of the snarl words in Ecclesiastes. Read 'em and weep.

1.                  affliction

2.                  afraid

3.                  afraid of heights

4.                  alone

5.                  anger

6.                  angry

7.                  anxiety

8.                  anxious striving

9.                  appetite never satisfied

10.             bad

11.             bad smell

12.             bitten by a snake

13.             bitter

14.             breaks

15.             bribe

16.             broken

17.             burden

18.             cannot enjoy

19.             cannot understand

20.             cares

21.             caught in a cruel net

22.             chains

23.             chance

24.             chasing after the wind

25.             contend

26.             corrupts

27.             crackling of thorns

28.             crime

29.             crooked

30.             curse

31.             cursing

32.             danger

33.             days of darkness

34.             days of trouble

35.             dead flies

36.             death

37.             depriving

38.             desire no longer stirred

39.             despair

40.             despised

41.             destroy

42.             die

43.             dim

44.             disaster

45.             do not know the way to town

46.             drag

47.             drunkenness

48.             dust

49.             endangered

50.             ensnare

51.             envy

52.             error

53.             evil

54.             extortion

55.             fail to enjoy his prosperity

56.             faint

57.             fall

58.             fall unexpectedly

59.             fate

60.             fear

61.             few and meaningless days

62.             folly

63.             forgotten

64.             frustration

65.             goads

66.             great misfortune

67.             grief

68.             grievous evil

69.             grinders cease

70.             harm

71.             hate

72.             heavy burden

73.             house leaks

74.             idle hands

75.             injured

76.             injustice

77.             jealousy

78.             judgment

79.             know nothing

80.             lack sense

81.             laziness

82.             madness of folly

83.             meaningless

84.             miserable

85.             misery

86.             misfortune

87.             mistake

88.             mourning

89.             never satisfied

90.             no comforter

91.             no further reward

92.             no longer heeded

93.             no one can discover

94.             no one knows what is coming

95.             no one to help

96.             no pleasure

97.             no rest

98.             no sleep

99.             not content

100.         not finding

101.         not go well

102.         not plant

103.         not reap

104.         nothing gained

105.         offenses

106.         oppressed

107.         oppression

108.         overpowered

109.         pain

110.         perishing

111.         pit

112.         pity

113.         poor

114.         poverty

115.         prison

116.         protest

117.         provoked

118.         rafters sag

119.         realm of the dead

120.         rebuke

121.         revile

122.         rights denied

123.         ruin

124.         sad face

125.         schemes to do wrong

126.         severed

127.         shadow

128.         shattered

129.         shouts

130.         siege works

131.         sin

132.         sinful

133.         sinner

134.         slaves

135.         snake bites

136.         snare

137.         sorrow

138.         stoop

139.         stupid

140.         stupidity of wickedness

141.         taken in a snare

142.         tears

143.         times are bad

144.         toil

145.         toil of fools

146.         toilsome labor

147.         trap 

148.         trapped by evil times

149.         tremble

150.         troubles of your body

151.         unclean

152.         warning

153.         weapons of war

154.         wearisome

155.         weighs heavily

156.         wicked

157.         wicked madness

158.         wickedness

159.         without meaning

160.         woe

161.         wrong

Random Musings About Ecclesiastes

Qoheleth was the ultimate party-pooper. He felt compelled to remind everyone the king has no clothes, that is, that the world's enthrallment with entertainment, power, knowledge, celebrity, science, and pleasure is ultimately pointless. None of those pursuits offer a satisfactory answer to the ultimate questions, Who am I, why am I here, where am I going?

Qoheleth was plagued by the specter of death and the grave, therefore he was grave.

My fascination with volvelles (paper round charts which, when spun, reveal information in little windows) is partly fueled by my morbid fascination with endless cycles, repetition, and actions that don't get us anywhere. Think merry-go-round or Ferris wheels. Turn, turn, turn but never arrive, arrive, arrive. I suspect that if Qoheleth had access to desk top publishing he too would have created volvelles as object lessons illustrating the tedium, boredom, and ultimate angst of cyclical history and nature.

One of our characters in Ecclesiastes University represents the will to power. I make an oblique reference to his approach to the philosophical elephant in the room (that power is pointless): he's going to use an elephant gun. Upon reflection I think my reference is too oblique.

God never speaks in Ecclesiastes. Qoheleth muses deeply about God but it's a monologue.

Mr. Q Has Left The Building

Just a quick note of self congratulations. Tonight I finished the last of Mr. Q's lectures (12:8). I first put pen to paper December 21, 2011. His departure 3 months later, ends like his arrival, with him muttering "meaningless, meaningless."

If I draw this thing correctly, there will be a tinge of cinematic drama in his departure. The class has dwindled by attrition (many if not most couldn't hack his outrageous claims and walked out or dropped the class) but the few who remain have become stalwarts of Qoholeth the Teacher.

I gotta say I was sad to see him go. This is a good sign. If I, probably the most exasperated "student" of all, grew fond of the the old buzzard, I hope readers will, too.

All that's left now is to bring the TA to the front of the class and have her wrap up the loose ends (and do damage control)! Ecclesiastes 12:9-14 are not the words of Qoholeth but of an editor who added their commentary on the lectures just delivered.

I'm highly persuaded the book of Ecclesiastes is loaded with additions, glosses, and inserted verses by persons other than Mr. Q, but for artistic purposes I've made all those (often contradictory) comments come from the mouth of Mr. Q. It's possible the giant leaps and flip flops are the machinations of a double minded soul, or even a moody and intentionally enigmatic singular author, but I think not. Readers of the graphic novel will never know this, only those who bother themselves to read this blog, the behind the scenes look of creation at work.

Mr. Q has left the building. While he's gone I'll reread his entire lecture, tweaking the student comments, and designing his body, size, shape, attire, cranium and facial features.

Qoheleth the Irreligious

Writing the script for my graphic novel continues at a glacial pace. I attribute this slow progress to the puzzling words coming out of Mr. Q’s mouth. Mr. Q, as you will recall from earlier posts, is the university professor named after the author of Ecclesiastes, Qoheleth. As Mr. Q speaks the words of Ecclesiastes I write the comments of students who hear and respond to his words.

This morning Mr. Q spoke Ecclesiastes 7:16-17, “Do not be overly righteous and do not be overly wicked.”

What irreligious words to come from the Bible! Even casual readers of the good book learn that Bible promotes ṻber-righteousness and has zero tolerance for wickedness.

In this post, rather than trying to untangle this hermeneutic knot, and without disclosing my imagined student reactions to such a comment, I think I’ll simply itemize many of the irreligious comments from Ecclesiastes (chapters 1 to 7:17).

“Everything is vanity.” These are odd words coming from a book purporting to offer meaning to life.

“There is nothing new under the sun.” Readers of the New Testament familiar with new birth, new covenant, new heaven, and new earth, will find these words puzzling.

“There is no remembrance of earlier things.” Again, the Eucharist is a remembrance ceremony.

“What is crooked cannot be straitened.” Christian therapists like me make our livelihoods helping people get untwisted.

“In much wisdom there is much grief.” Tell that to Solomon who wrote of wisdom in glowing and effusive terms.

“Increasing knowledge results in increasing pain.” This seems overstated to me, especially after a recent trip to the dentist. Knowledge of Novocain decreased my pain.

“The same fate befalls the wise and the foolish.” Really?

“I hated life.” Tell me more of this philosophy of yours; I’m terribly interested.

“God tests people so we see we are but beasts.” Yet Jesus said we are worth more than sparrows.

“The fate of humans and the fate of beasts is the same.” PETA will love this; but even beasts will get separated (“sheep to the right; goats to the left” – Matt. 25).

“There is a time for war.” I’m a (weak) pacifist and wish there was never a time for war. I relish the fantasy of non-violence, sanctions rather than SCUD missiles, and lions and lambs hanging out together.

“All return to the dust.” Ecclesiastes is vague on the afterlife. Not silent, just vague.

“I congratulated the dead who are already dead.” Camus (or was that Kafka?) rightly asked, “Why then not commit suicide?”

“Every labor is the result of rivalry.” No altruism? Hmmm.

“God will destroy the work of vow breakers.” What do we make of vow breakers whose work has not been destroyed?

“As a man is born, thus he will die. So what is the advantage of living?” Well, the point of religion is to answer such a question.

“It [the unborn] comes in futility and goes into obscurity.” Pro lifers won’t like hearing Qoholeth calling a fetus an “it.” In addition, granting rights to an “it” that is “futile” and “obscure” is a hard sell if all we have to go by is Ecclesiastes.

“What the eye sees is better than what the soul desires.” Yet in the New Testament it’s the invisible world that gets top billing.

“Who knows what is good for a man during his life time?” For a small donation televangelists will be happy to tell you what is good for you.

“Sorrow is better than laughter.” Try growing a church using that meme.

“Money is a protection.” Hmmm. The New Testament seems to see wealth differently.

“Do not be over righteous.” Try telling this to pietists, holy rollers, and Puritans.

“Do not be overly wicked.” As if being moderately wicked was okay.

My point in listing these irreligious comments is to ask myself why they are in the Bible at all. I refuse to ignore them, write them off as the rant of the demon possessed, or pretend that Qoholeth was being sarcastic and didn’t really mean them.

At this point I’m not really sure why they are there. So my slow grappling continues. 

Tasks Accomplished So Far

I've read six commentaries on Ecclesiastes as well as a number of related works (I'm currently reading Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl and just finished Tom Sawyer where Mark Twain puts in Huck Finn's mouth these Ecclesiastic-like words, "Bein' rich aint what it's cracked up to be. It's just worry and worry, and  sweat and sweat and wishin' you was dead all the time").

I've plotted the "story line" of the graphic novel as follows:

Setting: university classroom packed with students of all and no philosophical/theological persuasions.

Professor: Mr. Q. Q stands for Qoheleth, the author of Ecclesiastes.

Dialog: Mr. Q will stand in front of the class and his word balloons will contain every word/phrase of Ecclesiastes. Readers (hopefully) won't know his "lecture" is really taken from a written manuscript; few things are as boring as listening to someone read their speech. Students will then discuss with each other their impressions, reactions, and puzzlement over Mr. Q's unorthodox philosophy.

Title: I began calling the graphic novel ANGST 101. I then changed it to HAPPINESS 101. I dropped that and settled on ECCLESIASTES U. This is subject to change as well but that's the working title at present.

Humor: I'm no Conan O'Brien but I do aspire to balance the pessimism of Mr. Q's lectures with the wit and wisdom of class members.

Layout: As I create this classroom dialog between Mr. Q and a variety of students, I'm typing text into six panels in Publisher 8.5" x 11" (landscape). Mr. Q gets first panel, each of his sentences beginning with a capital Old English font. Student reactions take up the remaining five panels. Here's a sample taken at random.

Current status:  I have written the dialog for Ecclesiastes chapters 1-6. I've six chapters to go.