Reflections on Coloring

When my efforts yield less than ideal results (as my wonky skills as a colorist attest) I rationalize as follows.

This amateurish coloring job would surely get me fired in any Third World graphic novel mill. But maybe I'd escape the pink slip because I can do character design (albeit also abysmally amateurish). But my character design skills (especially at rotating heads) are weak, weak, weak and surely any animation studio would give me the boot.

"But wait!" I plead with the unhappy boss in my head. "I can also string nouns and verbs together and write sentences." The HR boss wavers momentarily and says, "You're no Jack Kennedy. Get out."

In an act of desperation I quickly add, "You're right, I can't speechify like JFK but I have another trick up my sleeve, I can tell jokes."

"Try me," he says.

"Um, one of the characters represents aggression and domination and I describe him as a veteran of wars in the Gulf, Afghanistan, and Cost Co parking lot."

He stares at me blankly and says, "What's a Cost Co?"

"It's a perennially crowded big box store in our town about which everyone complains."

"Dumb. Get out."

"Wait! I know I can't color, design, write, or tell jokes like the pros but I can add value to your comic factory because I can do story boarding. I can pencil out the settings, props, costume, facial expressions, staging, and camera angles in sequential art."

"I've seen your work. Too many talking heads. Beat it!"

"Please sir, I know I'm new at this but I'm begging for another chance. I can bring a philosophical and theological savvy to your project. I grapple with life's injustice and the problem of evil often and I believe grasp of Qohelet's angst better than most."

I see him waver momentarily. "Can you type?"

"Like a pro, sir."

"Okay, get back to work. And when the studio department heads complain about your shoddy work tell 'em you're here to make coffee."

"Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you."

"Get off the floor and quit kissing my feet. I've got work to do."

The boss leaves and with spirits high I shout Sally Field's Academy Award speech to him, "You like me, you really like me!"